Someday I'll Be Saturday Night

Well, it was an interesting day with two kids for most of the day. We watched a couple of movies, played some video games and went to the park for awhile. All in all it was a good day. We went to McDonald's for lunch and I got a Grilled Chicken Club with a bottle of water. I should've told them no mayo but it was my first time getting the sandwich so I didn't think about it. I was also worried about making sure the kids got what they wanted. It was good though b/c it was all I had...no fries, no cheese, no soda, nothing fried at all. In the end, I wish there had been no mayo but I can live with that, it was a "successful" trip to a fast food place.

I'm really loving how things are going right now, just need to keep it up and stay positive. I'm doing the best I can and that's all I can ask of myself.

Good Friday

No, no, no, it's not that "Good Friday", it's just a good friday. It's finally the weekend although I have some things to do. Doing some laundry, need to study some CPCU stuff and watching two kids for awhile tomorrow. Should be a good time hanging out with them watching a movie, maybe going to a park or something. I'm hoping it's nice out and not raining.

Tonight, I had a good salmon fillet with some fresh asparagus and an ear of corn on the cob. It was pretty delicious and was really filling. Coming into the weekend though so I have to be careful but I'm feeling much better about this weekend than I was last weekend when I was a little frightened. It's going to keep getting better though.

Sweet Thursday

I actually had a nice salad for dinner tonight. First time in a long time for something like that. Mix of romaine and iceberg lettuce, baby spinach, a tomato, a cut-up hard boiled egg and a can of tuna. Definitely need the protein. I know dressing isn't great for you but I put a serving, 2 Tbsp, of Fat Free French dressing on it. I don't know why but I just can't eat a salad dry...only crazy people and my friend Kari do that.

Lots of treats in work today. There were 3 people bringing in donuts, 1 person with some peanut butter/fudgey things and then also some Panera Bread bagels. Those are some gooooooood bagels. I stayed away though. I keep bringing in my lunch and some snacks for work and it's going well. I may only be eating around 2000 calories a day but I'm really working on spreading it out through the day so I'm not getting overly hungry which would lead to things like eating those donuts, bagels or peanut butter/fudgey things.

I've gotten a lot of great support at work though as well as through Facebook and other friends and family. I'm very appreciative as you all support me in my quest to get and stay healthy. Thank you guys, you're all great and I'm incredibly thankful and grateful for you all.

It's Only Wednesday

It was Wii Bowling night tonight. A couple of us get together and Wii Bowl most of the time...sometimes we watch a movie, sometimes we just watch television. Just all depends on how we all feel. We sit around and talk a bunch though which can be therapeutic. Had a good time with them tonight sitting around for a little bit. Other than that, things were kinda boring today, eating went well and overall I'm feeling pretty good.

Got a nice email from my Mom today. Thanks Mom! Love you and Dad!!

Tuesday's Gone

Today I had a Toastmasters Meeting. At this meeting, they decided to give us free pizza. Dang! I decided not to have any and still brought my lunch. I think it was a really good decision for me at this point in my journey. Someone asked me, "Couldn't you just eat one or two pieces and stop there?" I told them that I would do that if I could really guarantee that that's where it would stop. I would hope it was where it would stop but I can't trust myself completely in that situation. I wish I could but I've known me for a long time and I've seen my tendencies so would not have been a good move right now.

After work tonight I rode my exercise bike for 26:30 with 6 miles. Working my way up but that's the longest I've gone so far. Right now just trying to ride while watching an entire episode of a TV show on DVD. One of these days I'll move on to an hour length drama. That will still probably take awhile but progress is being made!

Monday, Monday

It was kind of rough today. I found out I messed up something at work...nothing major, thank goodness it wasn't filed yet. I got it corrected but I felt kinda stressed and panicked and felt like eating. I am proud that I didn't eat anything in response to it and haven't since I've been home. I did eat my apple for an afternoon snack but that was planned. Sticking to the plan....sticking to the plan.

By the way, only 13 days until August 8th...1st preseason game of the year, Dallas Cowboys vs. Cincinnati Bengals in the Hall of Fame Game. Really excited for that because the regular season and fantasy football are right around the corner. Hallelujah!

First Weigh-In

Today is a big day for me. I just weighed in a couple of minutes ago and I am excited although I am restrained for lots and lots of reasons. But, I'm proud to announce for the 1st week that I have lost 17.4 pounds!! I know there's alot of water weight in there and that now the real work begins but that's a much better start than even I could've imagined. Gotta stay strong and keep my life pointed in the right direction.

Day 7 - End of 1st Weekend & Week

I'm basically through my first weekend and I'm feeling really good. I've made it successfully through with no slip-ups. I'm excited for my first "official" weigh-in tomorrow morning. There's gonna be some good news, I know it! Make sure you check in tomorrow, I may post something in the morning after weighing in but we'll see how that goes.

I've made up my menu for this week so that I can get lunches and things together the night before so they're ready for me to just pick up and go in the morning. After this week, I'm going to try and kick up the exercise part of all this. I've been trying to just get my body used to the reduced calories and doing some minor things but I know that for the weight loss and changes I want, I need to pair the exercise with the revised eating habits. I'm not jumping in with both feet to the exercise because I don't want to hurt myself but it needs to start soon so I can start some incremental progress.

Things are going well though and for that I'm thankful. It's nice to be feeling good and hopeful. Keep your fingers crossed for a good weigh-in tomorrow morning and I'll definitely let everyone know how it's gone.

Saturday

Well, I made it through the first day of the weekend. Weekends are really hard because I'm home all day and the urge to eat or snack or graze or whatever. I'm glad for myself taht I did not fall apart or anything today, I actually did very well and stuck to the plan. I bought some meat and fish today to try and up my level of protein. I'm coming up short of that being 40% of my caloric intake so I need to get that up and will be working on it.

I'll let you all know the number of pounds lost for this week on my post Monday night. That's when I'm marking down the weight and keeping track of it. Things are going really well though so I hope to have a nice number then.

Day 5 - Eating Some Grapes

I'm just sitting here eating some grapes. They are mighty tasty. Well, today was another good day. I got really hungry around 11 and then again at 1:30 or so. I just had to wait for lunch and my afternoon fruit snack. I've been through all of this before so I know alot of what to expect when just starting to eat less. That's not to say that it all is easy to ignore those urges. In fact, it's one of the hardest things to do. You just get so used that, whenever you're hungry, you just get something to eat. Well, I can't do that, it's one of the BIGGEST things I need to change.

Life changes are hard. You grow up and you act a certain way and you do certain things. They become just second nature. Whenever I'm bored, excited, happy, sad, up, down, left, right, I ate....it's what I did. That's one of those things that needs to change and needs to not just change for 5 days or 5 weeks or 5 months or 5 years, it's behavior that needs to change forever and that's what I'm trying to do. It's going to take a long time to change all those habits but I know I can break them. It'll be a fight and it'll be tough for a long time, but as long as I take things day by day, I think I'll be alright and come out a winner.

Kinda Hungry.....

After a couple of easy days, I got kinda hungry today. I'm proud to say I never gave in to it though. I've been trying to stay around a 2000 calorie/day program. I forgot my food log at work but still wrote everything down tonight and will update it immediately tomorrow morning. Had to get some groceries tonight....lots of fruit and veggies. I even gave away to someone 11 cans of soda that were in my fridge, just not something I should have. I've been doing really well and am going to keep it up.

Kids are Crazy!

Kids say the darndest things sometimes. I was watching a friend of mine's 2 kids tonight while they looked at a rental house. We had a good time watching Toy Story 2and playing Super Mario Bros for the Wii. BUT, I was told something funny that is a good reason to lose some weight.

Lauren, the little girl, started laughing and told me that she nearly called me Dave. I said that I wasn't their neighbor Dave but she said she meant Dave from Alvin and the Chipmunks. Ryan, the 7 year old, then told me I was just like Dave from Alvin and the Chipmunks except I was a little bit wider. Yep, actually used the word "wider"! I laughed, because it was funny, but told him that wasn't very nice. He apologized and gave me a hug. I told him it was okay though.

All in all, it was a fun night even though Wii Bowling Night got cancelled. I wasn't able to get to the farmer's market but Dan at work did pick me up some peaches I wanted from there when he went early in the afternoon. They need a day or so to ripen but they look and smell SOOOOO good! I'm looking forward to them.

Day 2 - Cookies and Doughnuts

After reading that title, I'm sure you think I ate some of those today. Well, I'm proud to say that I most certainly did NOT! This may have been the last day of "Victory" treats from our 2-time HM Trivia Contest winners. Thank God it was the last day....just very tempting. I took part last week and ate my fair share but now I need to stay away from it all.

Hopefully it isn't raining tomorrow or too hot, I'm going to walk down to the Farmer's Market and get some fresh fruit. The peaches you can get from there are awesome! Need to remember to take some cash with me tomorrow.

I Need....

....to change my diet.
....to get my rest.
....to change my thinking.
....to take control of my life.
....to be strong in both body and mind.
....to stay active.
....to be serious about all of this.
....to realize my life depends on this.
....to take it slow and be patient.
....to let my support system know how much I appreciate them.
....to use my head when eating.
....to get my life in order.
....to regain my self-respect.
....to learn to love myself.
....to stay in control of my emotions.
....to stop eating just because I'm bored.
....to realize I have things to live for.
....to do this for me.

Day 1 - Small Steps

Well, I've gotten through the first day. I controlled my eating and am keeping track of my food intake. It has helped me in the past to write these things down so I'm going to work very hard at it. I got up in the morning and rode my exercise bike for awhile...need to work myself up at doing that.

On the whole, things were good today and I appreciate all the well wishes I've received. I'm looking into a few other things which could help me down my path to a new life and wellness. I need to overturn every rock I can and find all the ways which can lead me to success. It's the first small step on a long journey but I've taken it and walking this path can only lead to happiness.

The Beginning

I'm beginning this blog to try and help me change my life. You see, I've struggled with my weight my entire life. I was always overweight no matter how hard I tried to lose weight or change my eating or workout habits.

Three years ago about this time I had lost about 110 pounds from Jan 2007 to July 2007. I kept most of it off for about another 5 months but from the beginning of 2008 I've gained back all that weight plus an additional 70 pounds. It's just amazing what has happened to me these last 36 months.

My weight has always caused me an immense amount of shame and embarrassment. I need to change my ways or I'm going to die. I'd rather not die being ashamed of myself.

So, starting on Monday, July 19, 2010, I'm changing my life and I'm going to document it here, be it good or bad. I know there will be good days, I know there will be bad days, but each day will be something I need to face, overcome, persevere and triumph over. I will triumph over everything in my way. I have to or this blog won't last very long b/c I won't be around so pray this blog sticks around.