Happiness....WHOA!!

I haven't had a whole lot to say over the past few days. At least not about eating, although things are still going extremely well! I can't complain about anything right now that I can think of. Things are really good right now and I'm happy. Work is great, I have a house I love, I'm feeling better, I have an awesome girlfriend who wants to be around me and listens to all my nonsense and loves to try new things....life is good right now. The weight thing can (AND WILL) get better. That's not to say that I can slow things down, I can't rest on my laurels with everything. I need to keep working hard, or even harder in some instances, and keep these good feelings going.

I'm going to my second family dinner tomorrow night with Bonny's family which should be fun! I had a great time last month and hopefully I get the right order this time. Ha! Although, the sandwich they gave me last time. Was pretty dang good. The one downside of eating better right now is Five Guys just opened here in town......DAMMIT!! I LOVE that place but it is soooooooooooooooooo (that's a lot of o's) bad for me. Someday I can have it, BUT that someday is not right now. Hard not to go if I think about it though. Haha! I'll find some way to survive.

10 Minutes at a Time

Well, the holiday vacation ended today. Hi Ho! Hi Ho! It was off to work I go! It was a long day but I got a few things accomplished. I stayed strong today and stayed away from a big batch of chocolate chip cookies that a coworker brought in for a meeting that I was attending. They would not have been good for me though and I knew that. Now don't me wrong, I've known that before and still eaten them...quite a few of them in fact. Just something that I know that isn't good for me at all right now.

When I got home I changed clothes and went down to my basement and climbed on my elliptical. Right now I can only comfortably do around 10 minutes on it but that is still 10 minutes longer than I was doing. I did the same yesterday and today my legs were a bit sore but that was to be expected. Whenever you start doing anything...or when I start doing anything....parts of me will hurt some. There's a definite difference though between something hurting and something HURTING and also when something hurts some because you DID something, not just because you're overweight and walking in from the parking lot is a colossal pain in the butt! That's what it was for me today and you know what? I will gladly take that pain and I will work through it and keep climbing on that elliptical because 10 mins will soon be 15 mins and that will be 20 mins and so on.... The resistance and intensity of the workout will also increase as I get my stamina back. I used to be able to do 60 mins on an elliptical at the gym at a fairly high resistance so I know I can do it, it's just a matter of working at it. Slow and steady wins the race though and I do not want to overdo anything.

My back has been feeling better as well though which is a welcome side effect. I'm not sure if it's from eating better, the little bit of weight loss or maybe some tension being gone. The tension was coming from knowing what I was doing was wrong. What I was eating was not good for me and was only contributing to me in an early grave. It was like a monkey on my shoulders forcing me to slouch, to slump, to feel it in my lower back. It did also come from eating a load of crap and feeling that in my stomach every night. Day to day life began to get difficult and that completely sucks. Now I'm not saying everything is hunky-dory yet but I can feel some things are better and incremental differences are incremental differences and all steps in the right direction.

I do eat better when I'm eating.....better......well that sounded stupid. You know what I mean though! I have more combinations of things in smaller amounts and not just the same crap over and over. I can't tell you how many damn Tombstone pizzas I've eaten over the past 6 months or so....how many cans of Spaghetti-O's with meatballs....anything fast food.... Last night I had boneless pork chops with corn and some leftover mac and cheese...tonight I had 3 pork loin ribs with cut carrots and a little pasta side dish. The little carb-filled things aren't the best but I do still have some things left over from grocery trips past but I'm slowly getting rid of them and not eating them all in one sitting. A box of mac and cheese is not meant to be eaten all at once by one person. Ugh! I don't know what I'll have tomorrow night but I know that I also love grilling out right now. The rain gets in the way sometimes but it's a whole world of different things for me that I haven't been able to make in the past. It's a world of choices and right now I'm enjoying the hell out of it!!!!

Monday Morning Weigh-In #1

Well, the first week is over. All in all I'd have to say it was a very good week but I'm trying not to get too excited about it because doing one week is "easy", doing it for 26 weeks or for 52 weeks or maintaining a weight is difficult. The first week is all big losses and lost water weight and your body adjusting.....anyways, for this first week, I lost 23 pounds. Some people will think that's alot but it's a drop in the bucket of what I need to lose but it's a helluva start and don't get me wrong I am proud of it. There is a long way to go but I have taken that first step and no journey can ever begin without it. So, here's to a good start and many more great weigh-in updates!

Friday/Saturday -- Yep, DBT Still Rules!!

It's been a couple of great days over Friday and now Saturday. To go somewhat chronologically....

Friday morning I ran a ton of errands and was very productive which has made the whole weekend even better. I had a nice breakfast of blueberry frosted mini-wheats with a protein shake, a banana and a small glass of orange juice. Around 1:30 or so, the guy from the gutter company showed up. Huzzah! Been waiting 3 weeks for them to get there. Lets just say I had a gutter problem in the back and a lot of water kept flowing over against the back wall of the house which is not good. He got up on the roof and fixed it all up. I know that because of Saturday and we'll get to that.

Around 3:00 I picked up Bonny so that we could go to St. Louis to see The Old 97s & the Drive-By Truckers at The Pageant. She was very pumped up as was I since we'd been looking forward to this concert for a couple of months! We stopped in Collinsville at a Ruby Tuesday and I had a NY Strip steak with a plain baked potato and a small salad from the salad bar. The steak was a little underdone but I think that's my fault because I believe I ordered medium instead of my normal medium well. All in all though it was delicious. Bonny and I had a lot of fun jumping around on my iPod and seeing what types of songs I did and did not have on there....I think I need to get "I Want You to Want Me" by Cheap Trick aaaaaaaaaannnndddd.....she'll have to help me on what else wasn't there. Word to the wise though, she does not like songs about hoochies who try to get their old man back when he's finally got his life back in order...."Jessie" by Joshua Kadison, I'm looking at you!!!!

Needless to say the concert was AWESOME! I had never heard the Old 97s but they had some really good tunes....I guess I had heard one of their songs before but I just didn't know it. DBT though came out and gave us all an Alabama Ass-Whuppin! The sound guys had the organ a little high on the mix but that was okay. It was a great time spent with Bonny and seeing my friends Ben and Becca Rudin along with a whole contingent of their family. Ben is dealing with ALS for those that don't know him and he's the one that got me into DBT and I'll be forever grateful of that. They're great people and I'm so glad they could have a helluva good time at the rock show too! Another bonus! I bought a DBT shirt even though it's too small for me, I just wanted one. It was soooooooo cold in there that Bonny put it on. :) It looked huge on her but it helped her warm up and that helped her enjoy it more. It's a load of fun sitting there singing "Zip City" or "Hell No I Ain't Happy" or "Where the Devil Don't Stay" with your girlfriend singing along as well. Just too cool!

We made it back home okay but at around 2:30 in the morning. Luckily I slept until 11:30. First time in a long time I've slept that late and it was wonderful! I didn't have a breakfast because of that though. I did run some quick errands and picked up a Subway sandwich there. Turkey/Ham on wheat with lettuce, onions, tomato, pickles, provolone and some chipotle southwest sauce. Yummy!!!!!!

The big thing though was that it rained today and pretty hard for a little while and I did NOT get the waterfall effect from my gutters. Sweet relief!!! I still need to get the dirt in my backyard re-graded from the back of the house so that water runs away the house but that's another discussion. I'm just glad that there is not a constant flow of water out of my gutters now. Joy at the small things.....

For dinner tonight I had some chicken, rice and vegetables. I made a double batch of it and instead of eating all of it, as I have been known to do in the past, I portioned it up to get the 2 meals I should out of it....PROGRESS!!!! I feel really good though and my back is getting slowly better which is another good result from all of this. I'm no longer needing the 3 Vicodin a day that I was taking a couple of weeks ago. Still get some twinges but it's slowly coming around. It's been a great weekend so far, lets hope that Sunday is even better!!!!

Last Night Was Sleepy Time

I apologize for those of you who might read everu night for no post last night. Yesterday after work was sort of weird. I didn't get to do a post because I could not seem to stay conscious for longer than about 20 minutes at a time..and even that was pretty sketchy. I finally picked up a new phone since mine was giving me a few issues...got a new iPhone 5!!! Hopefully I can take some better pics now that can wind up on here from my misadventures or on Facebook. I came home to set it up which did not take too long, ate a quick dinner of some Clam Chowder and a PB&J sandwich, and then the rest of the night is a blur.

Yesterday eating-wise went well. I did have my one treat with some homemade ice cream that Dan Lundeen made. It was cookies and cream and I didn't get a lot but it did taste good. I've been turning other things down and staying away from things so that's been great for me. I haven't been eating late at night at home either and that's just as important for what I'm doing. The one part of eating yesterday was that I had some strawberries during the afternoon and holy cow did it upset my stomach!!! That's one of the reasons I think I was out of it last night. I feel better this morning now so that's a little bit of something as well.

Tonight, Bonny and I are going down to St. Louis to see the Old 97s and more importantly, the Drive-By Truckers!!!! Woo-hoo DBT!!!!!! Just exciting!! I've gotten her listening to them which is pretty awesome and she is very, very excited about going. Will be a few people there that I know as well which will be fun and it'll be good to see Ben Rudin down there. He's only been gone from work for a week now but I miss being able to just go down and talk DBT or some Cubs/Cards with him. I don't know about anyone else but I'm ready to get my face melted off!!!!! HAHA!

So, there won't be a post tonight but I hope to have some good things for you tomorrow. Until then!!!!!

Date Night with my Honey

Before I get to date night, the early part of my day. Had a good day in tons of ways. Got a bunch of work done, showed off my curriculum for one of our summer interns which was received well, got something filed, was mostly pain free and most importantly, I ate well. I basically had the same thing I've had the last couple of days but I had a pear for an afternoon snack which was very tasty.

Tonight though was a date night with my honey. :) We met up at IHOP for dinner. Now, most of the time this means an omelet and some pancakes for me, all of which gets hoovered down. Tonight I ordered the Rooty Tooty Fresh & Fruity....minus the pancakes and toast in its place. The pancakes were hard to give up but I knew it was necessary. Those carbs just weren't necessary. The other parts though...2 sunny side up eggs, 2 slices of bacon, 2 sausage links and the toast were very, very good. I also stole one slice of bacon from Bonny since she wasn't going to be able to finish. She couldn't finish other things in her meal and normally I would've probably finished off at least some of what she left....but other than the bacon and one small bite of something else I resisted. I felt pretty good about that though and what I did and did NOT have. Going out to eat can be difficult but I know if I keep my head screwed on right and just use my head for something besides a hat rack, I can overcome and wind up on the right side. I even remarked as we were leaving, "This is the first time I've ever left here after eating a full meal and not felt like I was going to explode." That gives me a little bit of a warm, fuzzy feeling.

After that, we went to see Star Trek: Into Darkness. Overall the movie was very good. If you're a fan of the old series and movies, it's very fun what they do with a few things. My left knee gave me some problems during the movie though. I've come to learn that if I keep it bent for a long period of time, it will start being painful....another area with some slight tendinitis I believe. I stupidly chose some seats in the middle of the row when I KNOW that I should sit on the left side of the screen on the aisle so I can extend that left leg and keep from just praying the movie is about over so I can stand up. As long as I'm able to stand up sometimes, everything is fine....at the movies, that is not acceptable to those around you. Of course I witnessed a guy spilling soda on the woman in front of him and not apologizing for it so maybe standing up to stretch would've been okay.

But, it was a good day overall. I got to see my main squeeze, have a good meal with her, see a movie and get her head on my shoulder...that's a little piece of heaven. :) And I ate well. That's a pretty damn good day to me!

A Day with a Bad Start

Ever have one of THOSE mornings?? I woke up this morning with a raging headache and having slept through 38 minutes of my alarm. Now, there are a few things I hate waking up with....a headache, back pain or an upset stomach. Combine that with the reduced time to get ready for work and it was a total pain in the ass. Please also keep in mind that I set my alarm early because I am NOT a fast riser in the morning, it takes me awhile to get really going. So to say that this morning wasn't one of my favorites is an understatement.

Other than the morning, the day went pretty well. Got some work accomplished, ran a few errands after work, did some work around the house, grilled a great ribeye steak and baked a potato for dinner. All in all it was a good day.

I also turned down German chocolate cake balls this afternoon. Ohmygosh! From previous experience, these things are DELICIOUS! Gayle at work makes them and they are basically German chocolate cake rolled into a ball, frozen to keep the shape and then dipped in chocolate. That is how I remember them....I steered very clear of them. Instead of those, my afternoon snack was a honeycrisp apple....which was also delicioius. The dang things are expensive but they are an apple that is totally worth it!

My back is feeling better and I only took 1 Vicodin today and that was just about an hour ago so that's some good news too. I need to get out and do a little walking around the building at lunch to try and loosen things up and/or see how things are really going with it. I'm going to do that next week. That way I can really control it since I can head inside at any point it may start to seize up on me. Last week we walked to lunch to a place that isn't far from Horace Mann but far enough that I was thanking God when we got there. About halfway there things began to get a little painful. Just an embarrassing situation but it showed me that even with the Vicodin that all was NOT right with my back and how much I still need to watch it.

Shortness Today

Today is a short post, had some computer issues and now it's raining like cats and dogs out there. Video from Oklahoma has been startling. Anyways, today was a pretty good first day. Watched what I ate and stayed away from alot of things. Got some groceries so I have some fruit to take in for snacks. I really did get hungry in the afternoon but just ate some almonds I had at my desk. I've had them awhile though but just opened the canister so they should still be okay....I hope. Hopefully an apple or a pear or something will be just what I need tomorrow. I also got a haircut which makes me feel a little better. I'm not sure why it is it makes me feel better although I feel less like a shaggy dog that I was just 5 hours ago. Huzzah! Here's hoping for an even better tomorrow while the wind blows, the rain falls, the lightning flashes and the thunder rolls. I sure wish those damn guys would've gotten my stupid gutters fixed before this. Guess I can't have it all, huh??? Onward and upward!

It's Been Awhile

Well, it's been quite a long time since I've been on here or posted....since 9/19/11. Hard to believe it's been almost 2 years. Lots of things have happened to me over this almost 2 year gap dear readers. Worst of these things is that my weight has skyrocketed. I'm larger now than I have ever been and it's the only thing in my life that is making me feel shitty right now. I sweat every time I seem to move or do anything...I'm out of breath as well a lot....my back is consistently fucked up(I'm on some pain medication for it which should tell you HOW bad it got).....I've just sunk deeper into that hole and it sucks. It sucks really bad.

Last night I went with my girlfriend(yes, I have a girlfriend! I'll talk more about in a later post...she's WONDERFUL!) to St. Louis to see Kevin Smith at The Pageant Theater. The seats were narrow as heck in the section we were in and there was absolutely NO WAY IN HELL I was going to be able to sit in them. Luckily we were able to move to a different area but it made me feel pretty bad for a little bit. It's just something hard to deal with. Those things have been coming up more and more often here lately and I'm fed up with it. The inability to do some things is terrible but the fear before it of any number of things is terrible as well.

The folks at Toastmasters keep asking me to come back. I haven't given a speech in over a year. The true reason I haven't is because getting up in front of those people and sweating like a pig on a spit is a very real fear for me. I want to be able to move and talk and make gestures and do all the things I need to do to make a good speech but I'm afraid of the beads of sweat on my forehead, my arms, my hands....that moment of moving and seeing that bead of sweat come unattached from the end of a finder and hang in the air as it travels towards some fellow Toastmaster. I can't deal with that and it keeps me away. I don't feel right going just to go and never giving a speech so I've basically not gone, with 2 exceptions, over the past 15-16 months.

I know I just need to start. I need to get started, that's the hardest damn part. And with my back and how it affects me and my legs, walking is a difficult thing right now. I also can't seem to 100% shake some tendinitis in my right elbow/forearm which prevents me from doing some things from the pain and weakness. These aren't good excuses though for my uncontrolled eating though and that's the first thing I need to work on. So I'm going to be working on that first while easing into some type of workout routine which won't kill me or make my recovery from the back or elbow any more problematic.

My goal is to once again update the blog every night though, good or bad. This really helped me out when I first started the blog...when I stopped posting, things went to shit.....doesn't take a genius to connect those dots. I'll be weighing in every Monday morning again and updating my progress as this goes along. Everything starts back at 0. Slow and steady wins the race, right? Wow, this post has been all over the damn place, hasn't it? Here's to also hoping my thoughts get more coherent as time goes by!!!